My dad is dating after divorce

I went from helpful coach to threat. Every time I called, she would howl like one of our Topanga Canyon coyotes in the background so much so that her mom and I couldn't hear each other. It was my first lesson in the tender hearts of the daughters of divorced parents. It was almost harder for the daughter to deal with the breakup than her mother.

My own sons took our divorce with amazing equanimity. We had sat them down on the living room floor and told them we were separating just for a test period. There was no rancor, only exhaustion.

What a Divorced Dad Wants in the Next Relationship

You'll both try extra hard to be nice to us and we get two of everything. And they liked the new women who would come into my life and introduce them to new skills, recipes and experiences.

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They seem to be a different breed. And their sensitivity and wounds would come to challenge my whole sense of my place in the world.

Divorced Dad: Realities of Dating

When you are a parent, or a coach, if you genuinely love the kids, you feel a bit like Superman. Your care and support and mentoring make you feel as if you have mighty powers, and it's gratifying to share them.

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But when you date a single parent, you are stepping into a whole other planet with whole new gravitational laws. It's a whole other set of narratives. New rules, new emotions. It's not about you any more. You are a bit part player in the lives of tender, conflicted, raging young minds. You don't get to set the narrative. If you have any insight at all, you understand that you have to fit into the narratives of others. And sometimes Superman lands on planet Krypton and you are lucky to get out with your life. This dad isn't comfortable being alone with his kids.

He didn't spend this much time with them when he was married. So he wants someone else to be there when it's his weekend with his children who can take care of them. He complains about his ex-wife constantly -- and how she's spending his money. Images of a credit card-wielding Medusa come to mind.

Until you realize he was probably this way before he got divorced. He's the one whose wife didn't put out for the last couple years of their marriage and he's just looking to screw around. Which is fine if that's what you want too.

What a Divorced Dad Wants in the Next Relationship

Just beware of his desire for multiple conquests. This dad is so scarred by his past relationships that he can't move forward with someone new. And he thinks you are going to be as controlling as his ex-wife and as critical as his mother. A single parent who is a partner or a good man.

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For 4 years; has a half years; now engaged to be involved in with kids to re-enter the dating a divorced mom.