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Now, I am not blaming my dad or the church or Christianity for my decision to have premarital sex. It was my decision. But the fact is that, in life, we make decisions based on our reality at the moment of decision. My resolve to remain a virgin was shaky. I craved stability and love and acceptance.
A candid blog about sex…. and sex after divorce
And I was curious. Turns out, sex was fun. Having sex made me feel more confident and beautiful and loved. My boyfriend wanted to have sex with ME and that felt pretty awesome. Fast forward about 10 years. I met a man that took my breath away from the moment I met him. We quickly became intimate and it blew my mind…. He was like no one I had met before. He was the second man I was sexually intimate with. That intimacy lead to an unexpected pregnancy.
I was both ashamed and deliriously excited. I mean, I loved this man. I was living with him and in my mind had already committed myself to him, even though we were not married. I wanted a baby, I was in my mid 30s at this point tick tock tick tock. A marriage proposal came hours after the pregnancy test. We started planning a quick wedding, 3 months away.
A month before the wedding, I miscarried. It was one of the scariest and devastating thing I have ever experienced. After a few weeks I began to feel a little more like myself. After all — I was getting married to the man I loved! And there would be more chances to become pregnant…. A few months later I became pregnant again.
It was a healthy pregnancy and I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. What a transition from full time professional woman to full time not-so professional mommy.
And my husband was working lots. After a few short years the distance between us was obvious. I begged him to go to counseling with me, desperate to bridge the gap between what was and what I had dreamed it could be.
Then one day he walked out. And I became a single mother. If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day. Discussion in ' General Struggles ' started by Lala , Jan 5, We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless! Premarital Sex After Divorce Jan 5, 1.
Not sure if this is the right thread Hi, I'm new here. I'm a born-again Christian from Florida. It'll be a year soon since I got divorced and I am not currently dating anyone but I am curious about premarital sex after a divorce. My story in a nutshell is that I 'waited' until marriage and well my [ex]husband ended up having "issues" in the bedroom. Intimacy is such an important part of marriage and not being able to express yourself in that way was just awful. This is not the reason for the divorce by the way he actually ended upbeing unfaithful to me - LONG story. Having been through that and being so disappointed, I can't help but want to "test drive the car before I buy it".
I still believe in love and want to get married again and have a family. But the idea of something like that happening to me again frightens me. I mean who knows maybe the next person I meet will want to wait regardless of what I feel but I can't help but be apprehensive. What does the bible really say about premarital sex? Is it just legalism? I understand "sleeping around" is unacceptable and even unhealthy but once you know this is the person you will spend all of your life with Please don't criticize, I just need honest advice.
Thanks in advance for your comments! We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today? Jan 5, 2. First off my dear sister, there is one thing that most divorcees complete forget when they are divorced that when they were married they made marriage vows with our Lord Jesus Christ, and even though you are divorced those vows are still those spoken words of promises you made with HIM. SO what you need to do is to confess and repent to our Lord Jesus Christ for not fulfilling your marriage vows, and that you are also held accountable and repsponsible for letting HIM down and be part of the break up as well.
Ask HIM to forgive you and for you to forgive your ex-husband, and for HIM to cancel out your vows that you had made with him, and then ask HIM to bless your status and to help you to find a good partner to marry, and when you do ask HIM to bless it. Think about it, because many terrible second marriage problems had been solved many times when they realise that spoken words, particularly marriage vows are still in force.
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Premarital Sex After Divorce | Christian Forums
Lala- I'll have to respectfully disagree with Elijah2. Divorce from an adulterous spouse is allowed. Jesus said this himself in Mark 10 , among other scriptures in the 4 gospels.
Marriage is a covenant between 2 people with God as their witness and sanctifier. When a covenant contract is broken by one, the other is released from their obligation to comply with the terms of the covenant. The word "covenant" is legal terminology with terms as I have described. One example is that God made a covenant with the Israelites. Israel sinned against God and went a-whoring, so God is no longer bound to his covenant with the Jews and has opened his door to the gentiles alike. Another one is if you hire a contractor to build something, and he fails to honor the terms of the contract, you are not obligated to pay him.
A covenant is a two-way street.
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There may be other sins involved with your former marriage, but based on what you have shared, I see no particular reason to repent for the divorce itself. Your ex broke the covenant marriage vows and sinned against God, not you. You had a choice to either stay with him or leave. No condemnation in either case. However, I do agree with the second half of Elijah's comments.
Every fornicator can lay claim to "testing the waters.
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He's the only insurance that will never need a bail out. Jan 5, 4. Elijah2 was right, but in the case of adultery it's out the window. However, the answer to the question is actually pretty clear. Fornication is fornication, no way around it. Words cannot describe how much better you feel when your relationship is based on God and not on sex.
And you can't have it both ways, I've tried but it is impossible. If you are having sex before marriage, then the relationship is about sex first, God second. You don't want that, trust me. It will eat you up on the inside. But this is secondary, the main point still remains as stated above.
This is all coming from experience, ok?
I'm really trying to help you out. This is not just Biblical advice, this is first-hand advice too. Although Biblical advice really is the only advice you need, it helps sometimes to add the human element to it.